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 Post subject: Something for everyone
PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 1:57 pm 
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I Love Amateur Porn

Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2009 2:11 am
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n summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 00.01 a.m. on Friday.

On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated in a telephone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was not allowed of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor.

'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence .
'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realise that you're having sex with a pumpkin?

'He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said...
'A pumpkin? Shit ... is it midnight already?'


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"Have you got that book about small penises?" he asks.

"It isn't in yet." she replies

"That's the one"


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A They don't fucking listen


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Its a little gnome fact .


I was sucking off my new thai bride last night when I thought,........
"Hang on a minute".......



A Vicar books into a posh hotel and says to the clerk "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."

She says "No sir, it's regular porn...you sick bastard!"



Linford Christie goes to a golf course. He is stopped at the gate by a security guard. "I`m afraid you can`t come in, this club is for whites only but there is another golf club ten minutes down the road."

"Don`t you know who I am ?" asks Linford, "I`m Linford Christie !

"I do apologise" says the guard,"in that case it will be five minutes down the road."


A human being was successfully cloned. It was perfect in every way, except no matter what they tried they couldn't get the clone to stop using foul gestures and language. Finally, the enraged scientist in charge of the project pushed him out of a window, and the clone fell to his death.
Since he wasn't an actual human, the legal system couldn't figure out how the scientist should be charged. They finally charged him with making an "obscene clone fall".


George Cloony has a new movie coming out. Its about the life of Garry Glitter. Provisional title is "Oh she's eleven"


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